When Lawyers Attack

In an earlier draft I was going to put some witty joke in here about lawyers being out of control. I finally came to my senses — obvious jokes aren’t jokes at all, they’re just annoying. Now, if only I had an intro to put here that I didn’t think was stupid:

You shall, in your sole discretion, avoid the excessive use of the Online Game so as not to disturb your healthy and sound life. KONAMI will not be liable for any social, mental, physical damages caused by the excessive use of the Online Game. Any troubles and/or conflict of interests among the users of the Online Game shall be resolved among such parties and KONAMI does not assume any liability or responsibility regarding such troubles and/or conflict of interests.

That was all in the first half of the EULA Scroll Box From Hell™. The second half, which was cheerfully titled “BASIC TERMS AND CONDITIONS FOR USE OF KONAMI ID”, had four sections. These sections were called, and I swear I’m not making this up, Chapters. At what point, exactly, does your life go so wrong that you could write multiple chapters of legal restrictions, attach it to a game, and think this was a good idea?